Friday December 01 , 2023

What to do if someone you love or care about has an alcohol or drug problem

You don’t need to be sure about this or gather evidence, if it is affecting you, talk to City Beacon.

It is probably more helpful for you to speak to someone about how YOU are feeling, rather than trying to confront the person using or drinking.

Maybe your loved one is presently or has previously received help for their problem and you are seeking some guidance on how to support the changes that come with recovery.

Some common misconceptions

You may have had lots of advice from well meaning others about what you should or shouldn’t do about this person or situation, reinforcing the idea that somehow you are responsible.

Though it is true that you are not responsible for another person’s choices or behaviour, there is a kind of ‘popular’ belief that sometimes filters through media and the ill informed that there is nothing you can do, and that the person drinking or using has to want to stop themselves. Whilst this is essentially true, the family has often slipped into or been manipulated into some self defeating behaviours that they may not be aware of.

Here at city beacon we can help families, partners and significant others to understand and explore:

  • Choices: what you can do or stop doing and how some things done with the best of intentions can just end up enabling the using behaviour.
  • What you CAN do – What is happening to me, the dynamics and helping yourself.
  • What you WON’T do – limitations, boundaries, not being ‘used’ yourself.
  • Consequences to unacceptable behaviour.
  • Blaming, shaming, enflaming.
  • Denial
  • Letting go of the illusion of control.
  • Projecting outcomes.
  • Self care and the value of mutual support groups
  • Reactions or responses


We offer a course of 10 x 1 hour sessions for up to 3 family members

Following a 1 hour Assessment session (see fees):

  • Home visits can be arranged. We are aware that in certain circumstances it may be difficult for partners or family members to attend our City offices. (see fees)
  • Skype – we can arrange contact via Skype

How can we help?

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